It’s hard being a husband, father and Christian man. I am quite happy to confess that it’s much easier working long hours in the office than it is taking the initiative to pray with my wife and read the Bible with my children. It’s much easier playing a passive role at home, than it is to take the lead and make decisions that will grow our family spiritually.
As men spiritual leadership in the home is our responsibility: from getting our families into good spiritual disciplines, to setting Christian priorities and commitments as we navigate the different stages of life. As our wives and children watch and follow us, those will be the values we end up building in our families. Let me gently suggest to you that many of the choices we make about our church community life each week are driven by convenience or what’s in it for us. Yet, there are many other things in life that we are prepared to be inconvenienced for e.g. going shopping with the family when there’s a sale on, going out to a social late on Saturday with the family, taking the family on a road trip.
The hard truth we must face is that sometimes we use our children as an excuse to opt out of our church community life because it really isn’t that important to us. Can I say to you that as men – the values we set today in the way we make decisions in our families with respect to church community life will reflect in our children as they grow up, from getting our families to church, to praying with our children and wives, to getting to Bible study, to setting aside time to read and pray personally, to asking our wives about their spiritual lives and praying for them, to looking for opportunities to serve in our church community. The call to watch our lives and doctrine closely (1 Tim.4:16) is not just to church leaders, but to us as men who lead our families – the stakes Paul says are very high and will be seen as our children grow up – because the eternal salvation of our families depends on our perseverance and endurance. Let me encourage you to read that passage with a sober spirit. How we live and lead as Christian men, as husbands and fathers also sets the pattern for the younger men around us in our church community. As a friend said before – the difference between a boy and a man is that boys shun responsibility – real men live, act and are committed to their responsibility to lead their families spiritually regardless of the inconvenience and difficulty.
The danger is that if we only get involved, and are committed to church community life only when its convenient and benefits us, that will be the value we build into our families and children, rather than the God gloriyfing cross-driven values of sacrifice, selfless service and love for others.
I’m in prayer for each of our men at GracePoint this week, especially for those of you who are married and those of you who are fathers, that you might lead in a cross shaped way like Jesus. As men we need to step up to our spiritual leadership responsibilities in our homes and in the church. Let me encourage you to step up, and let me ask you to encourage me to step up as well. We need courage, the Spirit’s conviction and help, and the will to act.
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“As a friend said before – the difference between a boy and a man is that boys shun responsibility – real men live, act and are committed to their responsibility to lead their families spiritually regardless of the inconvenience and difficulty.
The danger is that if we only get involved, and are committed to church community life only when its convenient and benefits us, that will be the value we build into our families and children, rather than the God gloriyfing cross-driven values of sacrifice, selfless service and love for others.”
GOLD – PURE GOLD.
Hi Euge, this is good stuff. Thanks for being open (in the first paragraph).
Very well written as I agree totally that as men, we need to lead our households. In addition, the men in the church have to think about how our lack of spiritual interaction with our own children will affect them. Again, I agree that we need to be responsible, not only our we to work out our own salvation, but we also need to bring a righteous picture of Christ to our babies. Keep it up! In the US, there are too many churches where the men have literally given up all leadership to the women. Not that they don’t have a role, but the weakness of some men spiritually is a decay to the body and presents a damaged Gospel to the kids.
PS I am adding your blog to mine:) Blessings in Christ- Chermone