Over the last few weeks I’ve been slowly reading through Augustine’s ‘Confessions’. Augustine was born in 354 AD the son of an unbelieving father and a Christian mother. For the first 33 years of his life he lived as an unbeliever pursuing a hedonistic lifestyle, associating with company that was only interested in exploiting women for sex and power. Given every opportunity and as a gifted intellectual, at 30 years of age he rose to the highest possible chair academically and politically for the imperial court in Milan. During this time he also took a concubine on the side for 13 years and had a son by her. This was his life before God found him. The ‘confessions’ are really Augustine’s confession to God reflecting on the life he lived before becoming a believer. It’s been a compelling read, and though written almost 1600 years ago everything he says resonates so much with the struggles, challenges, temptations and issues in our culture and society.
One of the things that struck me was Augustine’s upbringing, and how his parents sought to give him the very best in life. His father was modestly well off and saved to give him an education so he could travel abroad and study. His mother a believer prayed for him regularly and sought to see him saved, but had higher ambitions for him in life. So much so that when he was falling into a godless lifestyle at 16, what he called ‘the age at which frenzy gripped me and I surrendered myself to lust … My family made no effort to save me from my fall … their only concern was that I should learn how to make a good speech and how to persuade others by my words’ i.e. to excel rather in his course of studies. His mother though a believer instead of actively intervening and promoting godliness in his life by marriage, Augustine tells us, ‘was afraid that that the bonds of marriage might be a hindrance to my hopes for the future – rather than the life to come, which she confessed in you, but instead in my hopes of success at my studies.’ Augustine continued to live this way until he was 33, a slave to every kind of lust, sexual experiences, power, acceptance, prestige, and academic fame, before God graciously intervened and saved him.
I believe there are some valuable lesson here for Christian parents. The great danger is that we encourage our children to put their hopes in, and treasure everything earthly that we think will give them a successful future, without any thought to their eternity. The greatest gift a parent can give their child is not the opportunities of a private education or money or material possessions, but a God entranced vision of life where Jesus is treasured above everything else in the family and in life. The former without the latter is nothing more than encouraging idolatry in your children with a sporadic dose of ‘churchianity’ on Sundays to appease the conscience. As parents the Biblical mandate is that we raise children who are totally given over to Jesus, where he is lifted up for them to be seen as the one who is to be their hope and treasure in life.
And it’ll be seen in the weekly priorities, disciplines and practices you pursue in your family.
We saw a few weeks ago in the sermon from Deuteronomy 6:4-9, that parents are to make God their first love above all in life, especially in their families. You may not realize this but as your children grow up it becomes very obvious to them what you love and treasure and place above all. The decisions you make or don’t make, the things you say or don’t say, the priorities you have or don’t have, the weekly disciplines in your family, the way you use your money, the way you spend your time, the way you pray or don’t pray, the place of the Bible in your family, the way you serve or don’t serve, what you encourage them to do or don’t do, what you teach or don’t teach them – it all reflects and will eventually play out in the lives of your children.
They’ll begin to model their lives off you, and what you love and treasure will soon be theirs as well. It’s the reason why parents are called to make God their greatest treasure, because it’s only when you have a God entranced vision of life, where you are loving God with all your heart, soul and strength, that your children will be raised in a family where God is treasured above all.
Successful Christian parenting begins when parents adopt a God entranced vision of life, where they are loving God with all their heart, soul and strength, and making Him their hope and treasure above everything else in life.
Successful Christian parenting begins when your children see this in your life and in the way you parent them, always with a view to helping them put their hope in Jesus and treasuring Him above everything else in life … even over their studies, sport, music and future careers.
A great place to start is to download a copy of Thrive, our monthly GracePoint newsletter to help make Jesus your treasure and delight above all things in your marriage and family.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I recently picked up Augustine’s “Confessions,” though I must confess I hadn’t delved into it yet like I was hoping to. I had heard the story of his mother and her her aspirations for him before, but in reading your article it actually made me look at the similarities between cultures of yester year and today. She struck me as a mother/nominal christian who got caught up in the things of the world. I see it so often in our churches today that when I speak on the subject people seem to turn a deaf ear. While I honestly encourage all men to work and be the best at what they do for the glory of God, we should all seek the kingdom of God first and not be overly desirous of the things of this world that will pass away. IDK, just my thoughts on what I was reading here:)
Thanks for this post Eug. I hung this pastoral note on my noticeboard at home. As you know, i’ve been learning lots about Christian parenting and how/what it should look like. still reading the books Pauline lent me. Our culture (whether its western or oriental) is so different to God’s values and teachings! And it hurts when you try place God’s values above the Chinese way of life and trying to communicate and show that to your parents.