Pauline’s Notebook

You can lead a horse to the water but you can’t make it drink. From the beginning of the dawn of time, young people have always taken incredible offence when it comes to receiving advice. I have often heard one say (and I sometimes think it myself), “You can give me advice, but I will make the decision for myself - you can’t make me.”. Well, that is very true, one cannot determine another person’s life or death - only God can. I still consider myself young and I still get advice from well meaning people. As a faithful believer in my youth, what does God say about taking advice?

Why should we take advice from others and embrace it?

1. Because Scripture reminds us that the young are prone to evil desires. Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart (2 Tim 2:22). Let’s face it. We are young and we are proud. We do not like taking advice and we look down on others most of the time. Admit we often have evil desires, repent from it and be humbled.

2. Because Scripture distinguishes those that are to train, and those that should learn. Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6). A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher (Luke 6:40). Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Eph 6:4). Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children (Titus 2:4). If I profess to be young, then Scripture says I am to learn. So, I should adopt the attitude of learning.

3. Because God commands it. Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding (Proverbs 4:1) and also Proverbs 6:20.

4. It will result in us understanding the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God (Proverbs 2). This to me is the ultimate aim for receiving advice. I encourage you to read the whole of Proverbs yourself.

What should be our attitude when getting advice from others?

1. Yearn for it and seek it with gusto! Proverbs 2 tells us to ‘Turn your ear to wisdom’, ‘call out for insight’ and ‘cry aloud for understanding’.

2. Put it into action. He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding (Proverbs 15:32)

3. Do not despise it, but cherish it. He who gets wisdom loves his own soul; he who cherishes understanding prospers (Proverbs 19:8)

But what if the advice is ungodly?

There are two ways to look at it. Either, the advice is infact godly and comes from God, or it is ungodly advice and of the world.

1. First determine if it is your pride telling you that it is not good advice. Are you sinfully judging that person? (Matt 7:1-5). It is very easy, in our youth, to think that the person giving advice or the advice itself is not of any value. Be humbled and take it fully in, examining yourself first rather than quickly fobbing off the person/advice. Once, you have fully examined yourself, then give the advice the litmus test against Scripture.

2. Study the Scriptures. If we are not too quick fobbing off the advice, we are the opposite, we too often go to our friends for advice before seeking God’s counsel first. This can be a danger when all our Christian values are actually formed from man’s sinfulness. We do not realise that this is one of Satan’s schemes. The only way to determine if it is godly advice, is to ask God himself, through prayer and through our daily studies of His Scriptures.