Pauline’s Notebook

My motto, as a parent was to let my children ‘enjoy’ life, to offer them many things in life so they can delight in what God has made in this world. Sounds good, sounds godly - but I was wrong. First, let me introduce you to my son and how I’ve raised him so far. He has (out of his own pleasure) done the occasional guitar, swimming and skateboarding lessons. He’s done many things with his dad and as a family that gives him pleasure - toys, fishing, holidaying, etc. Even his schoolwork has never being too demanding and he’s always ‘enjoyed’ doing his homework.

This year, my son has found that his school work as increased by two-fold and we’ve both being left mentally exhausted by the middle of the week. My son was then resistant to doing his homework and preferred to do his origami or lego. I (as his responsible parent) have being quite stressed at trying to push him to do the bare minimum. Daily tensions have grown and tears have flowed. Life as it seemed was not ‘enjoyable’ anymore to either of us. So, for the first time in my child’s life, he’s experiencing that life is not all about doing what he takes pleasure in. Life is not all about enjoying what God has created for him to enjoy. And I realise now that I was wrong in teaching that to his early stages of life. In fact, I was teaching him to be hedonistic! Reading ‘Desiring God’ by John Piper has reminded me that life is about enjoying God himself and not His creation. Sure, there is nothing wrong in enjoying what He has created, but it’s whether we put those things above our delight in God Himself!

Postscript:

Last night, after another stressful situation regarding his homework, I had a discussion with him. What does he want to do with his homework? Does he want me to keep him accountable or leave him alone to do whatever takes his pleasure (eg, origami and lego)? He thought about it for a while. He’s decided that he needed to buckle down and do his homework without complaining. He then asked me to keep on helping him and holding him accountable to finishing his homework each week. I am thankful for his response, but I know it’s just the first step. He may not fully understand why he has to do things which are not enjoyable to him, but my prayer is that he will one day give thanks to our Lord Jesus in all circumstances. I too, need to learn this lifelong lesson. It reminds me of Saint Paul’s exhortations to the faithful believers at Thessalonica, that while we are on this earth, waiting for His return, we need to, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). Amen.